The Mirror of Erised
by Sparrowflight
Summary: Severus Snape's thoughts as he looks into the Mirror of Erised.  One-Shot.  Rated T to be safe.


**Severus Snape's thoughts and reactions as he looks in the Mirror of Erised. I published this on another site, but liked it enough that I wanted to put it one some others. One-shot.**

The Mirror of Erised

Severus Snape stormed into the room, his robes billowing behind him. He walked straight for the mirror, stopping abruptly in front of it. He shouldn't be here, but Severus was well aware of that. If Dumbledore found out he would undoubtedly be furious. Dumbledore had already warned Severus about the dangers of the mirror, saying it could make him mad.

It was worth it. Severus was already mad. He had murdered her, which was the beginning. It was his fault, all of it. She wouldn't have married James-bloody-Potter if he hadn't called her a mud—that name. She would still be alive. He wouldn't be here, a madman, staring at her in the mirror.

Lily smiled at him in the mirror, reaching out to him. She was wearing a wedding gown with a veil falling around her shoulders. She looked beautiful. She always had. She had such pretty red hair, such beautiful, flawless features. Admittedly, he could see why she would end up with a guy like Potter. A girl like her, she would always be to good for a man like himself.

"Severus," she whispered, resting her hand against the glass. He _was_ going mad. The mirror had never talked before.

"I'm sorry," Severus said.

"For what?" Lily said, smiling slightly, like she was teasing him. She had always done that when they were younger. She had stopped when they came to Hogwarts and Potter and Black started bullying him. Severus had never asked why, but he always assumed it was because she did not want anything she said to sound insulting to him. She was so kind to everyone, even Black and Potter. The arrogant tossers.

She was still smiling at him, with that teasing smile. It was like she did not even know what he did. "I killed you," Severus whispered.

Lily giggled. "Do I look dead to you?" She picked up the flower bouquet on the table next to her and clasped her hands around it.

"You're not real," Severus said quietly.

"Sev," Lily said with a small smile "I'm as real as you want me to be." She placed her left hand on the glass again and smiled at him.

"Don't you love me?" she asked, staring into his eyes. She loved him, Severus could tell. "Don't you want me to be real?"

"Yes," Severus said, stepping towards the mirror. Dumbledore was right, but this was why Severus couldn't stay away from here. He loved Lily. Dumbledore couldn't understand how much, how deeply, no matter what he said.

"Severus," Lily cooed, he hand still resting on the glass. "Sev, I miss you."

"I miss you too," Severus said. He had missed seeing Lily in the Mirror of Erised, but that was not entirely what he meant. He missed the real Lily, back when she had considered him to be a friend. Before that incident in the fifth year. Bloody Potter.

"I love you," Severus said. "I've always loved you. I always will."

"I love you too, Sev," Lily said. "I'll love you forever too. That's why we're getting married."

Severus took another step towards the mirror, and placed his palm against Lily's.

There wasn't any warmth. There wasn't even the coolness of the glass. Just a cold, pale, skeletal hand of the woman he loved touching his.

It wasn't a living person's hand.

Severus sank to the ground, his hand still touching the mirror, staring up at Lily as she smiled and gazed down at him.

She was dead. And he had murdered her.

Severus had not meant to do it. He had been the one to get Peter Pettigrew to confess that he was the Secret Keeper, but Severus had done it so he could visit Lily, so he could convince her what a huge mistake she had made, marrying Potter. Giving birth to Potter's…spawn.

He had dealt with the consequences of Pettigrew telling everything to the Dark Lord, and Severus had managed to convince him that Lily should be spared. Lord Voldemort had not really cared. He did not understand, perhaps, but he thought of it as a childish fantasy or crush.

The Dark Lord had called her a mud—that name, but Severus had acted like it did not bother him. If he could deal with seeing Potter and Lily—_his _Lily—snogging all over Hogwarts his seventh year, he could deal with the Dark Lord calling her that.

It was almost a flawless plan. Severus had never imagined that Lily would be willing to die to protect Potter's spawn, but for whatever reason she did. She had wanted to. Severus could not understand that, not completely.

But that was Lily. His Lily. She always wanted to help the underdog. At one point it had been Severus, and at that moment, unfortunately, it had been Potter's child. If Severus had played his cards right, he and Lily could have had a child, and they would all be alive.

"Sev," Lily said. "Sev, don't you love me?"

"Of course," Severus said. "I'll always love you."

"Don't you want me?" Lily said, blushing as she said it. She never did like talking about anything like that.

"Yes," Severus said. "But I want the real you."

Severus Snape stood up, brushed off his robes, and strode out of the room. The Mirror only showed him a fake Lily Evans, one who loved him as more than a friend, one who was alive, and one who had married him.

And Severus knew that if he was honest with himself, Lily never had, and never would have, loved him as more than a friend.

**Please let me know what you thought!**


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